you would have been 6 and half months now little sydney. i have been thinking of you alot this week. as i went through your memorial service pics last night to get them ready for your mommy, i remembered feeling your life inside your mommy's belly, even just hours before Jesus took you home. and then i remember holding you sweet girl. it was almost more than i could handle. but i had to be strong for your mommy and daddy. they love you so much little girl! as i thought some more, i couldn't help but imagine the what if's. what if you were here, you'd be sitting up by now maybe. grayson would LOVE to come and snug up to you, smack you in the face probably trying to love on you! you would be trying to hard to crawl and chase him around. or maybe you'd be trying to run from him! your mommy and i would sit in the backyard and put you in the kiddie pool in one of aislyn's hand me down swimsuits (that probably would have been one of braidyn's hand me down swimsuits!). we would laugh at how much beautiful dark hair you had, and how you already would have grayson beat in the hair department! your mommy and daddy would start working on your words with you. ma-ma. da-da. bub-ba. and liam would definitely be teaching you a thing or two about the drums. and about george. and about Jesus too. your daddy would swing you SO high in the swing while your mommy would yell at him. :)
but this wasn't God's plan. its hard to be ok with that sometimes, as we mourn that He took you home. but He doesn't have a plan b, as i've learned as i talk with your mommy. it was always His plan for you to live in your mommy for 7 months and then to go back to heaven with Jesus. but i have to say sweet girl, i have learned alot from your short existence here on earth. you have taught me that even my own babies are not my own. they are on loan from Jesus. God has used your short life to teach me about the generosity of strangers, through funds raised for grayson (he would have been your betrothed :)), to help him with his allergies. some of those people never would have met your mommy if it hadn't been for you! i am learning more and more every day what an amazing writer your mommy is! she has taught me more about my Jesus through her grief. the list goes on baby girl. i haven't really ever posted about you, because i've never really known what to say or how to say it. but since you've been on my heart this week, i will take the opportunity. i am excited to meet and know you one day sydney grace. love to you dear baby. i sure do miss you.
6 comments:
If you never uttered the words, your photos speak volumes about your love for this precious family. How lucky Alyssa, Ian & Liam are to be blessed with your friendship and your talent. I know you, in turn, feel equally blessed having them in your lives. Thank you for your part in continuing to bless each of us with Sydney's grace. Peace be with you.
thank you sweet anonymous poster. thank you so much for those words. they mean worlds. and yes, we ARE blessed to have them in our lives!
oh my word. i am sitting in puddles of tears, filling my lap...i am speechless...but i do know i love you and am so blessed to have a best friend who loves my little girl almost like her own like you do. your words, your pictures, your heart..your own what-if's of my girl's future had she grown up with your kids, well-it just breaks me. it hurts but in a good way. bc the love is so tangible and wonderful. you are an amazing friend to me and my family and like i said before, God knew i needed you to get through the loss of my girl so he sent me to Abq to meet you almost 5 years ago in preparation...thank you for this post, i will treasure it forever....we love you dearly.
"friends" doesn't even come close to describing what you are for Ian and Lyssa. God has blessed them with you.
kb
If every person in the world could have a friend like you, the world would be a very happy place.
Thank you from the deepest parts of my heart. Your gift of first, friendship, then your beautiful photography that captured a lifetime of moments. Your words had me in tears, here sitting at my desk at work. Thank you for being Lyss's best friend. Oh, how much she needed you and many times you needed her. You are indeed a gift to her. I continue to pray for your family and sweet Grayson. Thank you for being the wonderful person you are. I am one grateful friend for you. Luvs to you and your family.
C
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