rice cakes

are yum.

temper tantrum

this is what the beginnings of a temper tantrum look like around here. you may think she is singing loudly and passionately, but no. she is sad.

oldies...random

i found myself looking through old pics this evening, no idea why, but these made me smile. aislyn, in this picture, is grayson's age now. almost 2. also, almost 2..at the zoo with daddy. i really think that she and gray look nothing alike. but they both look like kenny.
seriously? my boy was so bald. so so so bald that i don't even remember him being bald cuz he has so much curly hair now. weird. i don't miss that carpet by the way.

no. actually, that is not a doll i'm holding. once again, it's my ridiculously bald baby. but it LOOKS like aislyn's baby doll, just bigger. with no hair.

anyway... that's all.

home

i put this on matt's blog, but matt went home to be with Jesus this morning. it's a bittersweet feeling for sure. i already miss his sweet face, but do not miss his suffering. he is dancing with Jesus today for sure. :)

shelter

i think, that this post won't make alot of sense. because i feel like i don't make much sense lately. i've written about this previously, and if you know me, you know this is a huge part of my life. matty matt is not doing well. Jesus will likely take him home soon. we knew this was coming. we've known it since matt was just a day and a half old. but somehow, i don't feel like that makes it much easier. it's so hard to watch him deteriorate, and to remember just a few weeks ago, when "r" and i were in the driveway and he almost seemed normal for a few minutes. but we know he's at the end. and it's tough. all the kids have fallen head over heels for him, and i know we will hear "where's baby matt?" likely for months after his passing. i tried to explain things to aislyn today, i think i totally sucked at it, and she got one of those frowns that precedes a huge cry on her face, and said "but i won't see him again mom?" i tried to explain that she will, hopefully a long time from now, but i had such a hard time trying to explain it in a manner that wouldn't give her nightmares. all this to say, please keep the "b" family in your prayers. they, and all of us who have loved him so intensely, will miss him. so. much. i take great comfort in knowing that matt will shortly be in the arms of our Creator, but "r" and "s" are still losing their son, "e" and "j" are still losing their baby brother, and we are all losing the most precious little surprise that we have loved as our own over the last few months.

but i cannot believe how many lives this little boy has touched. and he doesn't even know it.

my new favorite song...

I have a shelter in the storm
When troubles pour upon me
Though fears are rising like a flood
My soul can rest securely
O Jesus, I will hide in You
My place of peace and solace
No trial is deeper than Your love
That comforts all my sorrows

I have a shelter in the storm
When all my sins accuse me
Though justice charges me with guilt
Your grace will not refuse me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
Who bore my condemnation
I find my refuge in Your wounds
For there I find salvation

I have a shelter in the storm
When constant winds would break me
For in my weakness, I have learned
Your strength will not forsake me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
The One who bears my burdens
With faithful hands that cannot fail
You’ll bring me home to heaven...
(Steve & Vicki Cook, Bob Kauflin)


Jesus, help us to believe these words. Be our shelter.

poser

aislyn has been fairly cooperative with me lately, as i am taking a photography class, and am using her as my model. this was one i liked alot. :)

toe jam

aislyn was showing grayson how to find and properly remove toe jam. it was gross.

as long as we're jumpin'...

peace corp

example from earlier post. :)

my new face.

grayson has a new face. this is the face that he makes every time aislyn does something that he does not like. if i could attach a sound byte, i would attach a blood curdling girl scream. he has realized that it gets attention and aislyn is soon removed from his presence.

elfish

we have been talking to aislyn about our selfish hearts and making good and bad choices, since she could talk. with that said, i will share a story.

aislyn dresses herself now. she has recently been likened to someone who is about to join the peace corp. (ie. hippy, lots of patterns, that don't match, at all). she was putting on a dirty shirt with a dress and i insisted that she pick a different shirt. she argued and argued, and i was about to "get the spoon" when she says,

"MOM. you can be elfish... or you can help me. it's your choice."

yes, she said elfish instead of selfish. and YES, i had to leave the room because i could NOT hold back a smile.

my dad's comment? "have fun payin' for your raisin'."