my new face.

grayson has a new face. this is the face that he makes every time aislyn does something that he does not like. if i could attach a sound byte, i would attach a blood curdling girl scream. he has realized that it gets attention and aislyn is soon removed from his presence.

elfish

we have been talking to aislyn about our selfish hearts and making good and bad choices, since she could talk. with that said, i will share a story.

aislyn dresses herself now. she has recently been likened to someone who is about to join the peace corp. (ie. hippy, lots of patterns, that don't match, at all). she was putting on a dirty shirt with a dress and i insisted that she pick a different shirt. she argued and argued, and i was about to "get the spoon" when she says,

"MOM. you can be elfish... or you can help me. it's your choice."

yes, she said elfish instead of selfish. and YES, i had to leave the room because i could NOT hold back a smile.

my dad's comment? "have fun payin' for your raisin'."

he gave me his heart....

and i took it.

before he threw it at me.

XL

last weekend, we went back home (my home) to texas to visit all of our cousins, and there are ALOT. :) i had a fun little shoot with mine and my cousins' kids at an old run down barn that totally makes me think of vernon every time i see it. it has what looks like a giant XL at the top and i always called it (in my head) the extra large barn. and it was extra large. anyways, i wanted to do a test shot to see if i liked something so i called aislyn over from what she was doing (playing with her cousins and their dolls), and she ran over and i said "up against the wall stat", and she threw herself against the wall, and twisted her head sideways and made this face. i thought i was gonna have to pick mom up off the ground she was laughing so hard at my compliant model.

new favorite pasttime

hypoallergenic dum dums. thanks jen for the tip. :) he loves 'em.

cookies

aislyn and i were learning our letters this morning before church. wanted to write this down.

me: "aislyn, you are one smart cookie."
her: "mom, i'm ALLERGIC to cookies. don't call me that again. i am a little girl named aislyn."

that's all.

please check this blog

www.prayformatt.blogspot.com
check and it and please pray for him. God might do a miracle in His little life...

walk the line...

just a little something for fun....

cuties

these are some cute kids. i was just playing around with them and got some smiles..

hiking part deux

grayson rode in kenny's backpack, and charlie rode in lyss'. :) and i really think its steeper than it looks! oh, i figured, obviously, how to turn my pics. i am sad however, at the quality of my point and shoot. its kinda crappy, and i used to think it was SO good. ha. maybe i should ask for a new one for some holiday this year....

hiking

i have several more pics from our hiking experience, but they're oriented the wrong way and i can't figure out how to rotate them NOT using photoshop. i'm going to carry our small point and shoot camera around with us more and just take quick pics and upload them instead of trying to get EVERYTHING edited before i post... so if anyone knows how to rotate images, let me know and i'll post the other ten. :) oh and aislyn and liam were TROOPERS. these kids hiked FAR and had a blast. grayson, though you would not know it from this picture, loved the backpack, he didn't make a peep. he was just taking it all in. it has been so nice here lately, we'll definitely be doing more of this.

tagged

i've been tagged by my cousin in law tracey and i've actually never heard of this tag. kinda fun.. go to the 4th folder in your photo stuff (on your computer) and post the 4th pic. this computer is mostly work stuff, so here is an adorable little guy i shot last week. actually this is one of kenny's best friend's little boy. it was so wonderful to meet him for the first time - they live in denver. oh and heidi, if you're looking, here's another sneak peek!

don't do a hard one mommy

i have to jot this down to remember it- we have recently begun giving grayson little spankings ("gentle reminders") because he can be quite the defiant one these days. (sorry to offend any non spankers out there :)) anyways, i told grayson, after warning him several times to not climb on the table, that he was going to get a spoon spankin'. i took him in the bathroom and noticed that aislyn was terribly concerned, she looked horrified. she said "MOMMY! DO NOT DO A HARD ONE! mommy, please don't do a hard one", as if i normally beat her or something. so i gave him a "soft" spanking and aislyn promptly came over to his behind and kissed it and told him it was ok. HIlarious. didn't want to forget that one.

the three mustketeers...

baby matt's new site

lyss and i have started a blog for baby matt to keep everyone updated on his life. the site is www.prayformatt.blogspot.com. check there for stories and pictures about the little guy.

another little one...

i want to share with you all, matthew patrick brown. our friends, rachael and steffen, have applied for guardianship of this little one. i will attach rachael's email below, as she can explain it much better than i.

Dear Ones,
Steffen and I are in the process of becoming guardians for a little guy we will call Matt Patrick Brown. He was born on Tuesday at 7lbs.1oz, and his mother (15yrs.old) did not wish to have any interaction with him. Matt is now out of the hospital and doing quite well despite the fact that he has a terminal brain anomaly known as Holoprosencephaly, at least we think it is terminal. Apparently the doctor's feel his prognosis is not good as they have already put him into hospice care. There are still a lot of legal details to be worked out, but we are getting close to taking responsibility for Matt. (Though given the details of Matt's birth, I am confident that even after we have guardianship of Matt, it will be his Heavenly Father--through His body the church--who will continue to look out for this special little one). This is not something we had planned on doing at this point in our lives. Nonetheless we are thankful that at least for today, God has given us the grace to love Matt as he is. God has mercifully provided for all of our needs in abundance through you, His church, in a multitude of ways. We have been blessed beyond all that we could have asked or imagined through your tangible gifts or prayer, adoption services, childcare, food, baby items, legal services, encouragement, wise councel, cuddling, tears of compassion, monogrammed blanekts, church leadership, and so much more. Thank you! Despite the tragedy inherent in this story, we know that God is good because He has used His body to demonstrate His love for us and Matt through such a variety of integrated and yet unique gifts. Grace and Peace to you all. Love, Rachael (for Steffen, Emma, Jack, and Matt)

i had the HONOR of doing his newborn shoot. please pray for him, please pray for the browns also. we are coming together, as a church, to help them with this little guy and it has been amazing what God has already taught us through this little life.

if you are wanting to do anything for them, send me an email to kagrebe@hotmail.com. they have diapers and formula provided, but we all know how expensive newborns can be!

here he is:

babies

Lord, i am thankful for my babies today.

and then...

there was grayson. i used to think , "gees, how hard could a boy's hair be to do?" and then... there was grayson. sweet 'fro boy. i mean, seriously, i do NOT know what to do do with it. its SOO cute out of the bath, spiral curls, just beautiful. and then it dries. and then he scratches it until it 'FRO'S like crazy! i would put product on his little hair but i can't even put lotion on him so i'm not about to do that... here is an example of the madness that is his hair.this is his cute as a button face. :)cuz seriously. he's really cute. its kind of ridiculous.

who are those kids....

this is nothing but good times right here. i saw this and just thought, wow. that looks like some kids i know... check out my brother's ...overalls? onesie thing? romper? not sure. oh and whatever you do, DON'T call him a girl. i know i know, the hair. but really, he really was a boy. with beautiful golden curly locks of girl hair. (love you chris.) i remember that dress and vest like it was yesterday. i was quite fond of it for some reason. and i loved that necklace. it was gold, and had three hearts on it (likely made of plastic) in pastel colors. i don't have a pic of my kids where they are posed like this (there is kind of one on the post entitled "sibling love"), but chris and i are the EXACT same age as aislyn and grayson now. i was 3.5 and he was 1.5. so funny.

our little ballerina

she must have asked me a million times before lunch "mommy, where are we going again?" just to hear me say it. "ballet, honey." and then she would put that precious, shy smile on her face and go dancing off into the other room. "will i do this mommy?" she kicks her foot back behind her to hold it in her hand and puts the other hand above her head. "maybe", i say, knowing full well, that that is clearly NOT a ballet position. but adorable nonetheless. she put on her ballerina clothes, after taking a big girl nap and out the door we went. she was not one bit shy, but its probably because cousin braidyn was right beside her the whole time! they had so much fun with all their "friends" and miss jessica the teacher. aislyn did wonderful and followed instructions like a champ. you could not wipe the smile off of her face the whole time she was in there. i got some pics of the class but it was through a tiny window that i had to fight to get in front of. i will post some of those later. for now, here are a couple. i also have some cute ones of braidyn to post, too, but i need to go through them still. we will definitely be continuing ballet this spring, and i think i love it as much as she does....grayson got his very own dance lessons from liam while we were gone... here's the video. you won't want to miss it...

the first snow of the year....

aislyn's first camera

aislyn got her first camera from santa (via the help of aunt courtney... braidyn will NEVER miss it. until she sees it anyways...) i have loved watching her take pictures, its too cute. i will have to post some of her work sometime. also, my blog is still broken, i don't know why it uploads EVEN tiny pics to giNORmous on my blog, so you have to click on the pic to see the whole thing....

the spot

so i must not forget this conversation today.

me: aislyn if you talk to your brother like that again, i will spank you on the spot.
aislyn: on my spot? but mommy, it will hurt my spot. and then i will have to go to the dr. to get my spot fixed. and i won't have any clothes on.

that's all. and i leave you with a picture.

sparkle day

a friend of mine (lisa) told me once about "sparkle day" that she has with her daughter, where they just go do girl things that boys wouldn't really enjoy. i had been meaning to get aislyn's hair cut for awhile, and my hairdresser has been telling me to bring her in.. so yesterday, she and i went through the starbucks drive through to get our "coffees" and then off to the salon. starbucks has kid hot chocolates (they're so cute and tiny and NOT hot) for $1.10! once we got into the salon, i seriously felt like the biggest most ridiculous mother daughter yuppie team ever. but i had to take a pic of my three year old with starbucks. by the time she was finished she had chocolate mouth for sure. "new" rachel (that's what aislyn calls her because we already have friends named rachael, so she is the new one) cut aislyn's hair and then spiral curled it all around and it looked beautiful. she was very excited about her pretty hair. we then walked around uptown, going in stores we can't afford and pretending to shop for people. she said at bedtime, "mommy lets do that again."

my new fave

this was one from our family session with elaine. aislyn has a model face, and she was striking it so kenny felt he had to get in on the action. i told kenny that it was going on our wall, to which he replied "amy, people will think we're really like that!" so people, don't think we're really like this. whatever "this" is. ha.

sibling love

just a quick one for today :) my blogger upload thing still isn't working right, so i'm not sure how this one will actually look, but aren't they cute??

testings- frustrations- trees- puppies- boxes

well, we got back the latest test results, and yes, grayson tested "high to severely high" for all 10 foods. i mean, really? seriously? so frustrating. even chicken and sweet potatoes were on the list. which is his entire diet. so, on to patch tests, because i just am not sure we can totally trust the blookwork in grayson's case. something in him builds antibodies to every food, which is what the bloodwork is counting. i was PRAYING for a new thanksgiving food! oh well. i am THANKFUL that we have a few foods even if he does test highly allergic to them. AND he is sleeping so so so so good this last month. and his face and body have been doing really well too, so i won't complain. i'm tempted. but i'll try not to. :)

new subject. we put up our christmas tree a few weeks ago (don't make fun because i don't care, it made me feel better) and i snapped a shot of grayson playing with his new favorite thing, pablo the penguin, and his train set that we kinda wrapped around the tree (thanks aunt courtney and uncle chris!). he loves the tree, and its a good thing i love decorating for christmas because he de-ornamifies the bottom two feet of the tree on a daily basis.













we got a new puppy hat thing for one of the kids to wear when we go on walks in the morning (i'm very faithful to walk every morning- HA), and the kids like to share it... can you tell who is who?

if you're a boy, you can stop reading this post now- i haven't updated on this since saying that we would be losing this baby, and we did, last saturday, november 15th. i am healing, and am ok with it all, i understand that it happens, and its a risk with every pregnancy- a very high risk. aislyn understood i think, she tells me that the "new baby" is living in heaven with Jesus and that we need to get a new baby in my tummy very soon. we'll see about that. anyway, lyss and i were hanging out one night, shortly after she found out that she was going to miscarry (update for her- her pregnancy is fine as of now, thank the Lord, we are praying all will go well for the next nine months!)- anyway... we were hanging out and being incredibly dark about our current situations and decided that hallmark needs to market a "miscarriage in a box", much like they do for other events, "baby shower in a box", "bridal shower in a box", you get the point. well, i was laying on my couch the day that i was miscarrying, and i spotted the box i had been living out of, (including a cookie) and had to take a picture. it was, in a nutshell, a miscarriage in a box. everything you need. it kinda made me laugh. sorry if that offends anyone. you've gotta find something humorous in the dark times. OH, and if anyone is in the market for new maxi pads (giving birth, miscarriage, time of the month, whatever) do not ever buy anything but "always infinity" brand. i'm not kidding, they have like memory foam or something, i don't know what it is but they are so comfortable and do the job quite well. :) if you're a boy, i TOLD you to stop reading.

anyway, thanks for all the prayers. we pray that you have a blessed thanksgiving!!!!

makaila koehlinger

please whatever you do today, pray for this family. and for the baby who is still fighting. this is from the koehlingers..

Last night at 10:33 PM our little Makaila went home to be with the Lord. She just wasn't meant to be with us. She was an amazingly beautiful little girl and she stole a big piece of our heart. We'll miss her forever, but we are so thankful for her and the time we were able to spend with her. We think perhaps she was so special the Lord wanted her all for himself. We got a ton of beautiful pictures of her and in time will send them. Grace is still doing really well. She is only about half the size of Makaila but is a real fighter. Pray for her growth and health.Koehlingers

koehlinger babies

i don't know how it's possible that in just six short months, i would have two friends give birth to micro preemies, but it has happened. some friends of ours, kelly and chris koehlinger, delivered twin baby girls this morning at 27 weeks gestation. they are tiny, one is 2.2 lbs (mikaila) and the other is right at one pound (grace). please please pray for these babies tonight. the bigger one, mikaila, is not doing well at all, and "will not make it short of a miracle." i just can't imagine. please pray for this sweet family.

grayson the champ

so , for a quickie update on the boy. we recently did some more bloodwork on him. its been 8 months since the last round, so i requested a new round to see where the food falls now. we tested chicken, grapes, apples, sweet potatoes, 10 basic things. he has sweet potatoes, chicken and rice of some sort every day, and he does great with them, which is huge. but i fear that we will ruin him and he'll never develop a taste for anything else! each time i try a food with him, it seems he reacts to it, though his reactions are typically totally random and we can't ever figure out where they came from. so maybe it wasn't the food. we are hoping that the blood test will at least give us another couple options. pray with us please. :)

the kids are doing great, they're crazy. they fight over toys and hug and makeup post fight. they make messes in the playroom, and declare to me that they are, in fact, making a mess. "mommy, we makin' a mess! look!" they love the christmas tree, yes, we put up the christmas tree. :) it made me feel better. in lieu of the ornament box that i can't get to yet, aislyn has decorated the tree with dirty socks. it looks nice. grayson has discovered that his finger fits PERFECTLY in his nose. aislyn has learned that role playing is fun. she likes to be the mommy and grayson be the daddy. they sit at their table and talk about their day and then they make us dinner at the play kitchen. its usually soup or pizza. very tasty.

not much else to report. i'm on the wrong computer to add a pic. sorry again. :) hope all are doing well!

jesus, lover of my soul...

someone asked me recently what song had been on my heart as of late... this particular song has been on my heart for going on two years. i learned this song in 2006, and sang it at my grandmother's bedside during the months before Jesus took her home. it was the song that comforted me the most as we were losing her, and she was gaining heaven. so this is the song that has been on my heart. i wanted to post the words, they are so beautiful to me. it is my comfort during this mysterious trial of a second, very unsuspected miscarriage, to know that in Him only is our comfort. i do not implore you to try and find a version of someone singing this online... i tried, and all that is listed must have been the original arrangement, which i do not care for. when i figure out where it came from, i'll post it. the arrangement that i have come to know is much prettier than anything i found.

UPDATE- my friends ruth and troy gave me the site that has the clip of the song...
http://www.redmountainchurch.org/rmm/alb/lyrics.html
go down the song list until you see Jesus Lover of My Soul and click on it. it only plays one verse, but that's the entire melody. thanks ruth. :)

Jesus Lover of My Soul

Jesus, lover of my soul, Let me to Thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll, While the tempest still is high.
Hide me, O my Savior, hide, Till the storm of life is past;
Safe into the haven guide; Oh, receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none, hangs my helpless soul on Thee;
Leave, ah! leave me not alone, Still support and comfort me.
All my trust on Thee is stayed, All my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head With the shadow of Thy wing.

Wilt Thou not regard my call? Wilt Thou not accept my prayer?
Lo! I sink, I faint, I fall—Lo! on Thee I cast my care.
Reach me out Thy gracious hand! While I of Thy strength receive,
Hoping against hope I stand, Dying, and behold, I live.

Thou, O Christ, art all I want, More than all in Thee I find;
Raise the fallen, cheer the faint, Heal the sick, and lead the blind.
Just and holy is Thy Name, Source of all true righteousness;
Thou art evermore the same, Thou art full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found, Grace to cover all my sin;
Let the healing streams abound; Make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art, Freely let me take of Thee;
Spring Thou up within my heart; Rise to all eternity.

Charles Wesley- a looong time ago.

i'll soon post a pic of the kids when i'm up to it.. i promise... :)